Don't Make Me Laugh by Julia Raeside

The backdrop to the story line in Don't Make Me Laugh is the stand-up comedy circuit, but don't go into this expecting a laugh a minute just because the characters include a (fictionally) well known comedian.  There is a serious message in here, and anyone who doesn't understand that an abusive relationship can be emotional as well as physical, really ought to read it.

We have all seen the big story-lines on the news that involve internationally recognised personalities who have used their industry clout to seduce vulnerable women, but this kind of abuse can happen in any level of society and women need to know what to watch out for.

In the book, radio producer Ali Lauder is just over thirty and has got herself in a bad relationship with a married man.  When that affair is found out and comes to an end, Ali is emotionally vulnerable and responds to flattery from one of the big-name comedians who is in middle age but seems comfortable and unthreatening.  Once he has her contact details he texts her at all times of the night and it isn't long before she finds herself constantly telling him where she goes and what she's doing.  It starts off feeling as though he is someone who cares for her welfare, but soon she discovers she is not the only 'special' person in his life and realises that his motives are not entirely honourable.

The author, Julia Raeside, does a very good job of demonstrating how certain men can gain a level of control over women by slowly building up trust and then knocking their confidence until they feel dependent and unable to cope by themselves.  Much of the controlling behaviour is so slight that it is almost imperceptible, but once the bigger picture is uncovered, the truth becomes clearer.

This is how the controlling men usually get away with it.  No one is ever forced to do anything and everything appears to be consensual, so there doesn't seem to be a case to answer.  Also, by the time the woman understands what is happening, her self-esteem is so damaged that she doesn't have the emotional strength to make a complaint or even a challenge.

It's hard to know what any woman could do to prevent herself for falling into this kind of trap because the men involved are prepared to play the long game and everything seems excusable.  Reading this book will certainly help to understand that, in cases such as this, the woman is not at fault and should not feel guilty for having been taken in by a controlling man.